Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Obligatory Weekly Work-Related Bitch Session
Why is it—whyyyy—that people feel the need to push me in a career direction that I do not want to go into? Why? How many times can I say that it is not what I want, not what I’m interested in doing before it sinks in? And I’m going to be forced to do the thing I want to do least on a Saturday? Saturday?! While it’s still nice enough to do things outside? And not get comp time? And earn money for the organization but not for me? Wtf? I really don’t care about adding another bullet point on my resume. Really. It’s like everyone thinks they are doing me some big favor, but all they are doing is giving me another reason to have a freakout. Did I mention my blood pressure—which has always been excellent, well below the usual 120/80—was 140 over something last week? Did I also mention that I’m going for a stress test tomorrow morning? Sure, it’s more to humor me than anything else, but still. This should help me pass that wonderfully.
Q&A
Dearest bloggers. I can sometimes be a rather indecisive person. So I thought I’d play a little game. I ask you a question about my life, and you give me the answer. You have until I return from a press conference and the DMV to help set my life on track. That should give you roughly three days. Let’s begin!
Q1. Crazy in the Coconut BoyTM called and left a message for me yesterday. Update: He has now emailed me and it’s kinda sweet in a way. What do I do?
a)Change your number, lock all the windows and make sure someone walks you to your car every night.
b)Call him back & say sorry, too much too soon you wacko, it’s just not going to work.
c)Keep it going just so you can make out with him. It was the best time you’ve had in a long while, you crazy whore.
Q2. Is it wrong to stalk a bartender...if he’s gay?
a)Yes, you crazy whore.
b)Of course not! There’s no reason you can’t make out with him just because he doesn’t play on your team.
c)How do you know he’s gay?
Q3. Why have I had a headache for three days?
a)You have a brain tumor and are surely going to die.
b)You are still suffering the ramifications of the 12-hour makeout session, you crazy whore.
c)It’s the stress of going two whole weeks without meeting a rock star.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Big Pimpin'
Blogging •
Blog pimpin’ that is.
For some reason, people think I’m funny. I’m flattered, but I think you’re all nuts. Ok no, you’re right, I am funny dammit. But there is someone else I think is really, truly funny, among other wonderful things. Jane and I have been friends since the day we met—something I don’t actually remember, but I’m sure she’s telling the truth—back at PS 221 in 5th grade. Since then she has been sending me into hysterical fits. Really. You should’ve seen the two of us last October driving from DC to NYC. I think at one point I actually had to sit down in the middle of a rest stop so I wouldn’t piss my pants.
Well, good news! Jane has finally decided to join our not so little blogging world. She attempted to keep it secret for a while. Bah! What’s the point of blogging if I other people can’t read it?! So please go say hi to her and make her feel welcome: www.mountainsyoumustclimb.com.
Things I Never Thought I'd Say: #1
If a really good looking guy comes looking for me, I’m not here!
And it’s going to get much use this weekend. I head down to Queens on Friday. On Saturday afternoon I have a baby shower for my cousin at which I will meet another baby cousin for the first time. This is the daughter of my almost famous cousin Sunday, July 24, 2005
Rollercoaster of Love
I don’t even know where to begin. This weekend did not turn out as I had expected. You see....
-Turns out the only person to be crazy about me in a long while is actually crazy. No really. Like call me 559 times a day crazy. Like show up at my apartment at 10:30am crazy. Like act like we’ve been dating for years when I’ve only known you a week crazy. Like make me run around closing and locking every window in the house crazy. ::craaaazy:: This makes me so sad. I spent a good, oh, I don’t know, 15 hours making out with this boy in one night only to find out he’s nuts. What a waste of a good kisser. Needless to say, if he hasn’t already figured it out for himself, he will be getting the ax shortly.
-Thankfully Dell invited me to the ballet for some much needed relaxation and comic relief. Clearly we are not cultured enough to go to the ballet because we do things like this and this. In all honesty, I really liked it.
-Two couples I know - one mostly virtually and the other since college - have become parents this weekend. It’s amazing and crazy and surreal. And it makes dealing with shit like crazy men even harder when I think about where they are in their lives and where I still am in mine.
-I dropped several hundred dollars today on this beauty. Now might be a good time to update my checkbook. Yeah, lemme go do that. Well, after I finish playing with it.
A Picture Share!
Rock stars, here I come.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
A Picture Share!
Della Lisa
Friday, July 22, 2005
Oh the Scandal (for real, yo)
I was sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office when I spotted an article. My mouth dropped to the floor and I called my mother immediately.
Teacher arrested in sex case
BY DENISA R. SUPERVILLE AND ROCCO PARASCANDOLA
STAFF WRITERSJuly 22, 2005
A city school teacher was arrested after he took his toddler with him on a would-be tryst in Greenwich Village with what he thought was a 13-year-old girl, police said yesterday.
This is my JHS music teacher! I had him for three years. And any one of us girls could have told you that this was bound to happen.
Can I Go Back Home?
Today has not started well. I arrived at the office to find a giant dead crow right outside our building. Ew.
Then a few of us got into a heated discussion about terrorism and it is now apparent that I’m even more of a flaming liberal than previously thought. See, I just don’t think we should be shooting people for looking suspicious. So the new policy is shoot first, ask questions later? Wtf? And do I think random searches on the subway is actually going to stop terrorism? No. I’m sorry if I don’t want to live in a police state but I don’t. Maybe if I felt any one of our so-called leaders actually cared about preventing terrorism by attacking it at it’s roots (ie. poverty, AIDS, etc.) then maybe I could accept the extra police presence for now. But we aren’t doing anything and so it will never end.
Ok, on a happier note—these two are having a baby today!!! Go send them good wishes.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
There's Always A Down Side
This was a bad idea. Baaaad idea. Because now I cannot focus on work.
At. all.
You see, my kiss must’ve been something else *wink* because he wanted to see my again later. I don’t know the last time anyone wanted to see me twice in one day, let alone a boy. So I did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do for a boy ever again: ditched going to the gym. Instead I went out to dinner with him. And then there was making out. Much making out. In my car. In the park. I felt like a teenager again. I had to literally throw him out of my car because it was getting so late.
And now? Now I am suffering. Now all I want to do is be decadent and kiss and make out like I used to do for hours on end in college and all this having to be an adult and do work crap is just not cutting it.
